Connecting With a Loved One With Dementia During Valentine’s Day
- Elder Love USA
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
Valentine’s Day is often about exchanging cards, writing notes, sharing memories, and saying “I love you” out loud.
Spouses reminisce about how they met.
Children give handmade cards to parents or grandparents.
There is comfort in in knowing that love is understood and returned.
But for families affected by dementia, Valentine’s Day can feel a bit different.
As dementia progresses, it affects memory, language, and the ability to process information.
A loved one may struggle to find words, respond slowly, or follow conversations.
They may not remember past Valentine’s Days, or even recognize the people celebrating with them.
This can change how love is expressed, received, or acknowledged, even though the emotional need for connection often remains.
Love Adapts When Memory Fades Even as dementia progresses, emotional connection is still possible.
The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America encourages families to focus on L.O.V.E. as a way to stay emotionally connected.
Look back together
Share photos, familiar objects, or music from earlier years. Talk about how something feels rather than worrying about getting details right.
Open yourself to new forms of closeness Love may be expressed through shared silence, a calm presence, or familiar routines. Sitting together, sharing a meal, watching a favorite movie, listening to music, or taking a gentle walk can all help maintain connection.
You can also try simple new activities, like putting together a small flower arrangement, baking heart-shaped cookies, or writing Valentine’s cards to friends and family. Setting up a short visit or conversation with a familiar friend can also create meaningful moments of connection.
Verbalize your feelings Say the words, even if they are not fully understood. Read a Valentine’s card out loud or simply express your love. Tone, presence, and intention often communicate more than words alone.
Say the words without expecting a response. Your loved one may not be able to reply or show understanding in the way they once did, and that is okay. Read a Valentine’s card out loud or simply speak from the heart.
Express love in ways they respond to Pay attention to what thy respond to positively. It may be words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, small gifts, or acts of service. These preferences can change over time, and that is okay.
Don't Forget to Create A Calm Space For Connection
People with dementia can become easily overwhelmed by noise, activity, or unfamiliar surroundings.
When spending time together, choose a quiet place, reduce distractions, and allow the moment to unfold slowly.
Focus less on conversation and more on how your loved one seems to feel.
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