"Can I Really Do This?" What It Takes to Become a Caregiver.

Becoming a caregiver often begins with a moment you never expected. One day you are going about your routine, and the next you are suddenly responsible for someone else’s health, comfort, and safety. It can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even frightening. At the 2025 Oklahoma Family Caregiver Conference hosted by the Oklahoma Caregiver Coalition, Barry Jacobs and Julia Mayer discussed some of the questions caregivers struggle with most. Their insights shine a light on the fears many people hesitate to express and offer guidance on how caregivers can build confidence and resilience over time.

We'll discuss the first two which can help caregivers and families feel more confident as they go through the caregiving journey.

How do I know if I have what it takes to be a good caregiver? What if I make mistakes or let my loved one down? These thoughts are incredibly common, especially for individuals in the confusion stage of caregiving. This is the stage where responsibilities change rapidly and new tasks appear all at once. Suddenly there are medications to manage, transportation to arrange, appointments to track, daily routines to adjust, and a lot of information to absorb. It is natural for self-doubt to surface when so much is new and unknown.

Jacobs encouraged caregivers to start with one essential mindset: give yourself grace. Every caregiver will make mistakes. Every caregiver will feel unsure at times. What matters is not perfection but willingness to learn and grow.

He also recommended that caregivers take time to reflect on their personal readiness by asking themselves three key questions:

Availability: Can I be available when my loved one needs me?

Ability: Do I have the physical, financial, or emotional capacity to provide the care required?

Willingness: What sacrifices can I realistically make, both now and in the future, as my loved one’s needs evolve?

These questions can help caregivers understand where support is needed. No one is meant to take on the full caregiving load alone. Identifying your limits allows you to ask for help, explore community resources, or make adjustments to work and home life if possible.

What personal qualities will be important for me to be a good caregiver?

While every caregiver is different, Julia Mayer highlighted six qualities that can make the journey more manageable and meaningful.

Awareness

This involves staying in touch with your loved one’s emotions and your own. Awareness helps you recognize signs of burnout and understand what your loved one might be experiencing day to day.

Dignity

Supporting your loved one in a way that preserves their sense of value and respect can strengthen cooperation and trust. When people feel heard and respected, caregiving becomes more collaborative. Patience

Caregiving often requires slowing down and adjusting to another person’s pace. Patience allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react in frustration during stressful moments.

Flexibility Plans may change at any moment, and caregiving often brings surprises. Flexibility helps you adapt when things do not go as expected.

Diligence Being accountable to yourself and your loved one means acknowledging mistakes, learning from them, and continuing to show up with commitment.

Grace Accepting that no one is perfect can relieve a great deal of emotional pressure. Grace helps you forgive yourself for the moments when things do not go as planned and prevents burnout from taking hold.

Mayer emphasized that these are skills people develop over time, often through experience and reflection. Some caregivers begin with one or two of these strengths and grow the others gradually.

A Journey You Do Not Need to Navigate Alone

Whether you are just stepping into caregiving or have been in the role for years, it is important to remember that caregiving is a learning process. There will always be challenges, but there will also be moments of connection, growth, and meaning. No caregiver is expected to have all the answers. What matters most is showing up with compassion, honesty, and a willingness to learn.

And you can seek out help. There are many resources available, from caregiver support organizations to local programs and educational tools that can guide you through each stage of the journey and connect you with the help you need.

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This article was made by  Elder Love USA.

As the only nonprofit agency in California offering home care services, we are dedicated to providing compassionate affordable in-home care.  

All caregivers undergo thorough background checks and training with certification.  

Our rates are lower than other providers thanks to partnerships, donations, grants, and revenue from our cleaning program.  

Our caregivers can assist with personal care, shopping, cooking, transportation, housekeeping, and case management.  

We proudly serve Riverside County, CA, San Diego County, CA, San Bernardino County, CA, Orange County, CA, Imperial County, CA, and Phoenix, AZ. 

If you’d like to learn more about how our services can benefit you or your loved one, contact us today.

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